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Freedom of Choice

The older we get the more sentimental we become. Supposedly age is the same for most although I’m speaking for myself. A born and raised Christian, my parents never pushed me too hard, and gave me the opportunity to decide how my religious future would turn out.

My parents used to say, ‘put your feet in another person’s shoes’ and think about how whatever it is you are going to do will disturb them. Consideration is a powerful tool though many people are so wrapped up in their own self-approval, they think it’s their right to be self-absorbed because they are compensating for another area of their life which isn’t working out. Seeing the bigger picture then goes a long way to rounding your perfection.


Gratefully, freedom of choice should be welcomed by all. Being encouraged to make one’s own decisions allows each and every one of us to come to a logical conclusion based on everything we have learned throughout our upbringing. However, others should be considered with freedom of choice because making decisions for your own wellbeing could affect others in a negative way.


Helping youngsters without pressurizing them to accept their way with constructive criticism paves them to appreciate their situation. Making research and then slowly while carefully analyzing everything should enable everyone to make informed decisions. It might not be written in stone, but will serve to steer them through life.


An example of this scenario would be a divorced woman who kept going out. Imagine she is a hard worker and mother with a recent primary school beginner. She takes on her responsibilities, as best as she can. Coping is difficult, so she has an urge to party at every available moment. When she comes home late after work which she does most days, she sometimes puts her child to bed.


Soon afterwards she goes out on town to a nightclub or party to let her hair down and all her inhibitions go. In the early hours of the morning, usually after six, she comes home. Then all satisfied she retires to bed to get some deserved sleep. In the meantime, there are mornings when she comes home even later and her child is awake.

This might be considered as normal for a mid-30s divorcee; however, she is fortunate enough to have a father who gets ups early, is available to help although he also has a life. If it was once and a while it could certainly be an arranged situation, but when it happens four or five times a week and sometimes not communicated the father could be upset.


What could be the motive for his dissatisfaction? There could be several reasons such as: concern about the child’s sentiments, worry for his daughter’s long-term health, the fact his daughter doesn’t realize her attitude is selfish and not constructive for the wellbeing of the child, and lack of consideration for her father himself. The real dad lives close, but doesn't seem to care!


In her eyes she may have considered the impact of going out so frequently and consequently doesn’t see it as anything to worry about. She doesn’t lower herself to her dad's concerns knowing he isn’t happy. The weird thing is he has tried to make his discontent clear, but every time he tries, she sweeps it to the side as though she knows better.


The bottom line is there is no better way to serve than communication and the willingness to help each other to improve.


Have a terrific day!

Prof. Carl Boniface


Vocabulary builder:

Self-approval (n) = or self-acceptance is defined as “an individual's acceptance of all of their attributes, positive or negative.” [1] When we're self-accepting, we embrace every part of ourselves, not just the “positive” things! Self-acceptance is unconditional—you can recognize weaknesses, but still fully accept yourself.

written in stone (idiom) = said to mean that something such as an agreement, policy or rule is not permanent and that it can be changed.

Inhibitions (n) = reserves, hang-ups, embarrassments, shyness, self-consciousness, reticence, (ant) = spontaneities

Once in a while (idiom) = sometimes but not often: from time to time: occasionally. We still see each other every once in a while.

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